Hail Caesar

By David Radcliffe

As reigning league champ I thought I would start off the new year with some recollections from 2008 and expectations for 2009. First, during this past season after several seasons of being a bottom feeder, I came to the realization that, much like how it is necessary for Findley to use roofies in order to get laid, I must make trades in this league in order to win. So I would like acknowledge the fellow owners that made trades with me which lead to my ultimate triumph. Furthermore, I would like to extend thanks to Flounder, who's second round pick for Roddy White truly made my season and essentially I upgraded my second round because of it. So Flounder, should you be wanting anymore wide receivers, I got more stacked up. Stacked up like hookers in the back of Ted Kennedy's Buick. Dead ones. You might say I have a whole market of receivers, maybe even a flea market or may go as far as a minimall (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3oHpup-pk) of wide receivers.

So what can you expect from the Tron Special in 2009 you ask? Well, since my name is forever etched on our glorious trophy and I have sipped from the cup of fantasy greatness that many of you poor desperate creatures will never experience (yes talking to you lloyd), you can expect deceit, hatred, and the utmost level of absurdities regarding all things fantasy football. Let it be known that Adrian Peterson has upgraded his diet from eating the smaller, malnourished Somalian babies to the fatter German ones. He is hungry, beware, Bitches.

Tron.